You wrote,
>To a person trying to understand how differently (from me) his child
understands the >world, I guess. I'm certainly not knocking left-handers.
Perhaps I'm lucky that I have >something so obviously different as an
anchor for understanding that there _is_ an >enormous difference in the
way my child and I see the world at its most basic level.
This is truly a refreshing attitude. Most people, no matter how
committed they are to diversity in general, somehow become remarkably
conservative when it's their own child or other family member who's
involved. Whether it's "What will the neighbors think?" or just an
expression of a general distrust of novelty, many parents who will give
"outsiders" all manner of leeway suddenly become very invested in
attempts to "normalize" their child, particularly if an area is involved
which the culture finds problematic. Witness the almost automatic
assumption in some circles that a boy who is sensitive to aesthetic
elements and the visual arts, or dance, or even not interested in
self-assertion, will be classified as gay. (A tomboy seems to have much
more latitude, since she's identifying with the dominant caste - a
comprehensible motive.) The idea that, for example, a teen-age boy can
be interested in painting and still not belong to a specific, safely
classifiable "minority" pigeonhole is not yet common enough. (What
happens to a teen-age boy who plays foot-ball *and* paints?) What about
the girl who is great at carpentry? Or the son of a doctor who wants to
run a greenhouse?
Keep on with your efforts to understand your son - he'll be grateful to
you for the understanding and you'll be grateful to him for what you've
learned.
Rochel Sara Heckert
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