I agree with this in principle, but remain doubtful in practice. I
think there are many occasions where two different people have quite
discrepant perceptions of an event or interaction, with one person
viewing it as either benign or justifiable, and the other person
viewing it as malevolent or cruel. Moreover, there are occasions when
it is not possible to take an alternative action or to reach an
understanding. I'm afraid I don't understand Jao's statement, which
has been quoted twice now.
Robin