Judy, thank you for these observations! It is an excellent reframe
of the issue. As for how knowledgable we are about our effects on
others: I'd say that the best of us has only limited knowledge. I
think decency is indeed imaginable, as is the modulation of our own
behavior in the world.
At the same time, I think that decency as we imagine it and attempt to
live it is to some extent a cultural construction. What is the
best way to parent a child? What is the content that is most
important for a child to learn in a cultural setting? What does
a healthy teacher-child relationship look like? I think that the
answers to these questions are sociocultural constructions. It's
not simply that the process of learning is socially mediated--but
its contents are as well, and this includes the critical and analytic
contents which we apply to our own teaching. By this I mean our
own reflections on what constitutes a "good" school, a "good"
educational experience, a healthy teacher-student relationship.
To say that it's socioculturally constructed does not mean we
should dismiss our ideals; it simply means that we should have
an attitude of humility towards them, as well as take a self-
reflective stance towards the ideals that we endorse: are they
truly as good as we like to think? And, of course, "good" for what?
Robin