Absurdity of the Month: from Ken Goodman

From: Ken Goodman (kgoodman@u.arizona.edu)
Date: Wed Aug 02 2000 - 10:27:33 PDT


As promised, from all of the absurdities coming thick and fast in
 Literacy education, including those currently occurring in Philadelphia
I have selected my absurdity of the month for August. With the
permission of Susan Ohanian, whose tale of absurdity follows, the award
goes to the Gwinnett County Georgia police.
Ken Goodman

Editors, Reporters, and educators of the Assessment Reform Network:
>
>As the Republicans descend on Philadelphia, other parts of the
>country--namely, Gwinnett County Georgia--descend into a B Movie, Monty

>Python skit, or surrealism ad absurdum, take your choice.
>
>About a month ago, I spoke with a policeman from Gwinnett County who
was
>upset that I had been sent a copy of the Gwinnett 4th grade exam.
Gwinnett,
>among the higher scoring districts in the country, not just GA, somehow
saw
>the need to have its own standards and tests. He said that the taking
of
>the test was a "criminal act", although the word felony was not
mentioned.
>We talked for about 15 minutes, a quarter hour minutes that included
>questions about whether or not I knew where one of the suspects in the
theft
>had gone for her vacation.
>
>That, apparently, was the end of it for me.
>
>Not for Susan Ohanian, former teacher, consultant, author ("One Size
Fits
>Few") who was visited upon the other day by a Georgia policeman who
accused
>her of complicity in the felony by mailing the test or part of it to
>Georgia. Susan lives in Charlotte, Vermont. I really don't know how
to
>continue this message--the event defies description in the normal
pragmatic
>logic of the English language. It is something out of Kafka, with,
perhaps
>screen adaptation by the Coen brothers. What the f--k is a Georgia cop

>doing going all the way to Vermont to accuse someone of "complicity" in
the
>commission of a criminal act which consists, apparently in its
entirety, of
>stealing the test. According to the cop, this is a felony that can
cost the
>committer $50,000 and five years in prison.
>
>I'd say some people have lost their sense of proportion.
>
>Who footed the bill for this junket (did the cop really want to get in
a
>little New England fishing)? Are the Gwinnett or Georgia taxpayers
happy
>with this use of their money? I mean, there have been recent murders
in
>Gwinnett, right?
>
>It is to be hoped that the agencies and agents involved will suffer the

>ridicule they deserve.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Gerald W. Bracey
>1797 Duffield Lane
Hello,

Two Georgia policemen came to my house with a Vermont State trooper on
Friday, when I was not home. They asked my husband numerous questions
about an envelope bearing a Vermont postmark mailed to Georgia media
(containing a
copy of a Gwinnett County high stakes test). They returned Saturday,
asking me
to admit complicity in a felony in Georgia. I told them I would not
cooperate
in the investigation of an educator trying to protect children. I told
them
educator-involvement is an assumption on my part since I read in the
Atlanta
Constitution that the tests were secured in schools and that authorities
felt
no outsiders would have had access. The Georgia policeman threatened me
with
extradition to Georgia.
We'll see. My husband said to stop asking me questions, but the fellow
persisted, so Hans got firm.

Since I refused to cooperate he said he would return with a warrant--to
take
my fingerprints. Lots of talk about extradition to Georgia. Hans told
him not
to come back on our property without a warrant or he will charge him
with
trespassing.

So far I've had offers of a refuge in the Florida Everglades, in New
Hampshire and Wisconsin. Of course any writer's nightmare is having
anyone
touch her papers. I can't imagine anyone searching this house, which,
counting the basement is a 4-story paper and book pile. (My husband is
also a
writer.)

I wonder whose paying for two Georgia police to spend a weekend in
Vermont.
The whole thing is quite incredible--and quite stupid. If I weren't so
busy
right now, I'd half-way want to be taken to Georgia in handcuffs.
Imagine the
publicity. The marketing person at Heinemann says she'll change the
advertising slogan for my book from "Susan Ohanian Takes No Prisoners"
to
"Susan Ohanian Taken Prisoner!"

Today I'm angry and when review books arrived I didn't open then--just
left
these sealed boxes in various rooms. And the carpenters finally came
today to
install shelves in three of our closets. This meant I had to remove
everything--so I have PILES of 'stuff' in 3 rooms. It's going to be a
terrible job to get everything back in place. I've decided to leave the
piles
for a few days...just to add to the general confusion for anyone trying
to
search my home. These three rooms look like a wonderfully cluttered
closet
description I remember from Dickens.

  I've asked my husband to put on his John Deere cap and sit on the
porch with
his shotgun across his lap. This IS rural Vermont. We do run a tractor
(and
wild turkey is a real treat). Alas, we don't have an NRA cap.

Stay tuned.

Susan Ohanian

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