ONE NIGHT ONLY:
"Homos/Pomos/Socios _AT_ the Bidet: A Random Flush of Thought in a one
night LIVE Performance"
Featuring -
1. Masticating GEE PEE EH?
The Home School Cheaters Choir sings "How do you socialize the smarter
children?" to the music of "How do you solve a problem like Maria?"
(from _The Sound of Music_)
2. Scaling Fish, Timing Space: A Food and Physics Duet Performance by
Stuart Copeland and Philip Glass (NOTE: First two rows must be empty for
this presentation)
3. Bury My Texts on Subfloor D:
Max Horkheimer Lips Syncs Grim Fairy Tales along with ASL Signer
4. Riot? What Riot? - Part One (Denial)
Theodore Adorno enacts a dance interpretation of dodging
the thunder of texts being hurled from the audience onto
the stage: he shouts "Ya he WAS a pretty grim fairy! He WAS a grim
fairy!"
5. Riot? What Riot? - Part Two (Submission)
Adorno and Horkheimer ballroom dancing
while enlightenment sparkles tumble from the sky.
6. Dialing Lector (MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY)
Antonio Gramsci pantomimes a phone call to his lawyer;
Off-stage Adorno and Horkeimer chant: "Dial lector dialector dialector
dialectic diaphragmic diagnostic i vant choklat!"
Gramsci's lawyer arrives dressed as Emile Zola; Lector eats Adorno.
Horkheimer locks himself in a crate.
7. Hedge Money/Shrub Change/
Roland Barthes spies a nickel in a shrub, crosses the street to
pick it up and is hit by a laundry truck. Bertrand Russell is driving and
laughing maniacally. He drives into a superconductor and is smashed into
Foucault's apartment. He emerges in crinolins and a garter and begins to
speak.He can only say, "Ceci c'est ne pas ma pipe...." before Lector eats
Russell.
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE THIS FREE VIDEO:
PART ONE: This Ain't No Salad
Ludwig Wittgenstein's Verbal Salad Recipes with Logico Dressing
(featurng Clay Gunter, the fourth cousin of Wittgenstein's dentist's
sister-in-law)
Clay reads " Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus " into a tape recorder
and then plays the recording backwards while the audience is
fed Alice B. Toklas's World Famous Hash Brownies. In the background
Frederic Jameson and Hadyn White are dropping acid and making up latin words.
Jameson shrieks, "Trope this ya little troll!" Lector eats Jameson. Spits
out 14 female graduate students.
PART TWO: CONCLUSION
Hammered Mass, or E=MC Hammer
Jurgen Habermas lurches drunkenly across the stage while
The Home School Choir stand in a square and sings "Universal my Arse"
Philip Glass tosses the salad into a Mass Communicator.
He turns it on and a laser show spells out "REMEMBER THE ROSENBERGS"
Cannibals: Lector comes out on stage and burps, spitting up Claude
Levi-Stauss. Martin Heideggar comes out and stands at the microphone in a
performance of Thinking.
Levi-Strauss leaps back into Lector.
Off-stage shouts of "Heil!" are audible. Heideggar blushes and stammers,
"Er, ya, ok. Ya, ya,_ h'ill_ be zayr in a moment, ya? " He then sings
"H'Ill be Seeing you" and is hustled off stage by Jacques Derrida, who is
saying "Maudit Martin!!! Ferme ta bouche, s'il te plait!!!." Heideggar
looks bewildered. Lector
eats Derrida by mistake.
The Home School Choir hums The Flight of the Bumblebees
while Activity Theorists "get busy" in a syncronized concert of opening and
closing doors -
Two men in business suits run past each other with lit flashlights and screaming
"Mine's faster! Mine's faster!"
Bruno Latour is lit center-stage with a blue spotlight and sings from a
selection of Talking Heads hits.
The Home School Choir join in for the final song, "Where are the women??
Where are the women?"
FINALE: Althusser strides on stage and as he starts to say, "I was
interpe..." Lector eats him. Fanfare. Gilles Deleuze drops from the ceiling
and hits the floor. A laundry truck takes the body off stage. Baudrillard
is driving and laughing maniacally. His personalized licence plate reads
"MASS-TAH" -
Homi K. Bhabha, Frandz Fanon, and Edward Said insert Baudrillard under the
laundry truck.
(NOTE: Gayatri Spivak declined to appear in this year's show as
"THE ONLY BROAD"
but has indicated she will attend next year with a scathing critique.
.
THE END
___________________________________
Don't wait!! Order tickets for the Thanksgiving "Find the Feminist Show."
5000 top notch feminist scholars take the stage while the audience attempts
to identify one. Bonus points awarded if any publications can be attributed
to the scholar. Special points awarded for identifying the queers and the
women of colour, and free-turn cards are awarded if the scholar you've
identified is in fact working!
Winners will be invited to dine with Lector.
Hey!! Survivors! Win Season Tickets!!
_________________________________________________
it really could go on forever. !! no, i mean, I could really go on forever.
diane,
Judy, nanna will never be the same. Well done. I say the show tours.
At 11:18 6/5/99, Judy Diamondstone wrote:
>I randomized this thread and got the following:
>----------------------------------------------
>
>Under the spreading nanna we
>wish while we untangle
>the old bidet
>
>us with nanna laughing
>turning away
>signing the act in the act as if
>
>it was only up to our necks.
>Then. Oh memory, carapace of waters
>(timescales flashing:
>the butterfly of spring
>nestling)
>
>NETS CONSTRAIN US. THERE IS NO FINAL UNTANGLING.
>
>Time and space shells, a tango of selves
>and other
>things traveling
>
>and in it, time beating, contracting
>
>But big mamma, rooted and bedizened
>the purpling banana hanging in her shade
>interpellates....
>
>an infinitely frightening bodily form
>the stench of what was beyond us
>or so the doctor said.
>
>Things get pushed, flushed, diffused
>simply being in them is It
>the laughing with a buddha with a belly
>
>All untangling all
>imagined. And no laughing matter
>it is it is it is
>the Modern Man's butt, you said?
>
>Just another body rolling over
>signs spewing
>what a mess
>
>To be free in being not-us. Oh, to be
>forever untangling the net
>we're tangled of.
>
>Knotty, knotty nanna,
>goading the glinting fish to her turgid tango,
>laughing with the buddy with the big belly.
>How not to get lost in the nexus?
>
>There IS a sign in the bidet!
>
>The final untangling escapes us
>and Louis is riding towards us
>as we ride the troglodyte parade
>(Jay's in it too!) Hooooooray!
>
>would you please send the email?
>>
>
>
>Judith Diamondstone (732) 932-7496 Ext. 352
>Graduate School of Education
>Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey
>10 Seminary Place
>New Brunswick, NJ 08901-1183
>
>Eternity is in love with the productions of time - Wm Blake
""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""
When she walks,
the revolution's coming.
In her hips, there's revolution.
When she talks, I hear revolution.
In her kiss, I taste the revolution.
(by Kathleen Hanna: Riot Grrl)
******************************************
diane celia hodges
university of british columbia
faculty of graduate studies,
centre for the study of curriculum and instruction,
vancouver, british columbia, canada
email: dchodges who-is-at interchnage.ubc.ca