[Xmca-l] The illuminance that was Vera

[Annalisa Aguilar]

Hello colorful fish of the XMCA pond,


Vera's friendship was a thing nontrivial, as ontologies go.


Her academic sensibility was excellent and demanding. At the same time, her pathos for the world swam deep. We know from recent experience that although she did not post frequently on the list, she dearly valued the intellectual exchange that we all enjoy here. It nourished and populated her mind. To the end, I believe this was the case.


My personal sense of Vera is that few people were privy to the world she witnessed, through her eyes. I'm one who could not perceive this world directly, but I could tell that she perceived much differently than many of us, if only because she had witnessed a wide variety of human activity during her long, sometimes unyielding life. I was kind of standing on a hill beneath her vantage point and observing that she could see farther than I could, without the means to detect what she could see vividly. She could be silent in her thoughts and those pregnant pauses could be so meaningful, even powerful. Wide vistas. I mean to say that these silent pauses were almost words unto themselves. Can a linguist be a linguist of no words?


Most people who met Vera and had the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with her, as a student or otherwise, came to love her. My opinion is if you could not love her, then you were left to admire her mind, work ethic, and academic accomplishments, no small crumbs; Vera was the arete that the Old Greeks talked about.


I feel she made a good-faith effort to be accepting of others even if she disagreed with them. She was willing to seek the grey tones in a black and white contest. Everyone had a viewpoint and that viewpoint was for its very existence a valid one, because it was thought by someone, arising from a personal, perhaps intimate, experience – and this demands respect, but was not immune to being challenged, which sometimes she could do in five words or less.


She did not see disagreement as an assault to her being, as some of us can sometimes feel in heated debate, frustrating disagreements, even chafing exasperation. She was patient, nuanced, poised. Such rapport during a debate of ideas is the academic standard for which we all must reach, given the world we live in today. It is imperative. I feel that way because in this process of reaching (to listen, to search, to learn), we each stretch a little: it's a good kind of yoga that makes each of us a better contributor to the rest, for the rest, by the rest.


I do not believe I am wrong to say that Vera fought for a better world through her efforts to understand how to be a better teacher and how to truly serve the developing minds of children who might not have that many opportunities available to them. She encouraged that temperament in her students, and perhaps her colleagues as well. It was how to serve in order to achieve the best outcomes for everyone, which was a sign of her wisdom. It is not a struggle singular to Vera, and I believe every one of you has a dog in that race, to serve today's children and tomorrow's graduate students, and even one another.


Vera was also a bona fide feminist. A velvet glove with a strong grip on the realities of gendered relationship. She was not afraid to support other women and celebrate their accomplishments no matter the size. She was not afraid to debate men, but I feel safe to say she chose her battles when it mattered, but she was aware we still have a long way to go, baby. She was aggrieved over the election and was fearful about our future. I wish we could have shared better news with her than hurricane Harvey, if you get my meaning.


I also want to say something about Vera's strength if only because it was annealed through resilience. I feel she saw resilience as necessary for survival, and that she saw collaboration as resilience expressed between two or more people. I think this is why she valued collaboration; it is vital to know the dynamics of collaboration in order to survive all challenges that life eventually presents to us. "A sterling collaborator be," might be on her family crest.


Additionally, Vera studied those whom we call geniuses, Vygotsky being one of them. She told me and a classmate once during office hours that she would continue to find new insights in his work after each re-reading, so even after her own familiarity, we all have that to look forward to in reading and re-reading his work. If this was the case for her, then it will be for us.


It occurred to me some years ago how brilliant it is to study the development of genius. "Notebooks of the Mind" is one residual of such work. She was onto something there. She was looking at what occasions a person or a partnership to reach unique levels of creative accomplishment; not what is pathological about the mind in society, but what were its virtues? What is a mind that has developed to a pinnacle, significantly altering a paradigm of study, creative discourse, or any human endeavor? How does one become distinguished in creative work? What was the recipe for that? Can it be replicated?


Imagine if we could all be geniuses, what would the world be like? Would there be enough room for so many of us?


I think she would say, "Yes," in that delicate Hungarian accent of hers.


I suppose any doubt she might have concerning a world populated with geniuses, precipitated from the problematic baggage that the word "genius" carries. Consider the fallacy of Rodin's thinker, his head on his fist where ideas spring eternal from no place in particular while enthralled in monastic solitude. It is not real, nor is it human. Instead, Vera preferred to call such folks "experienced thinkers." It is so apt a phrase, and so elegant. Please consider appropriating that phrase in your vocabularies, in memory of Vera if you want. Certainly Vera was an elegant thinker; her speech embodied remarkable reflections that revealed the ripples of her introspection.




An image of koi comes to my mind's eye, as they swim in a clear pond socially, quietly, peacefully.




Thank you for allowing me to share my heartfelt gratitude for this unique human being in this very long post. I want to say I will miss her, but I feel she is with me still.

I hope you feel that way too.



Kindest regards,


Annalisa