>> 21. "If that's what you want"
>>
>>
>> Eric
JOKE!
Well, it must be an interesting married life to have a wife called, Eric.
JOKE!
I can hear all the warning bells going off.
Don't get into this Mary. It's a trap. Stay away. Just ignore it. Choose
your battles.
All the million reasons why I shouldn't comment on the "joke".
But I have to anyway, cuz it bugs the ever-living &^%$# who-is-at out of me.
Yeah yeah, humour is an important part of our culture yada yada yada (a la
Diane) but for GAWD'S sake man, if we are going to have jokes that are about
women, let's hear them from women. And better yet, let's have no jokes at
all on an academic list.
Mary
On 1/23/02 9:05 PM, "Paul H.Dillon" <illonph@pacbell.net> wrote:
> WOW!
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <MnFamilyMan@aol.com>
> To: <xmca@weber.ucsd.edu>
> Sent: Wednesday, January 23, 2002 7:00 PM
> Subject: Joke, joke, Warning a joke
>
>
>> The following is a joke and is not intended in anyway to offend or
> criticize.
>> I personally find these funny because I can view them from a subjective
>> experience of married life. Someone who views them objectively would not
>> find them funny. This list was shared with me by my wife, her subjective
>> view was of humor as well.
>> 1/10/02 - KEY FEMALE WORDS
>>
>> 1. "Fine"
>> This is the word women use at the end of any argument when
>> they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any
>> longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine"
>> to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of
>> those arguments.)
>>
>> 2. "Five minutes"
>> This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
>> your football game is going to last before you take out the
>> trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
>>
>> 3. "Nothing"
>> "Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes.
>> "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has
>> of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
>> "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
>> Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
>>
>> 4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
>> This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for
>> permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over
>> "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will
>> end with the word "Fine."
>>
>> 5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
>> This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do
>> what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised
>> eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
>> "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
>> Minutes" when she cools off.
>>
>> 6. "Loud Sigh"
>> This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
>> statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
>> means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she
>> is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
>> "Nothing!."
>>
>> 7. "Soft Sigh"
>> Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one
>> of the few things that some men actually understand. It means
>> she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or
>> breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
>>
>> 8. "Oh"
>> This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example;
>> "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you
>> were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement,
>> run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she
>> is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window,
>> but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh
>> as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught
>> in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a
>> raised eyebrows "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so
>> unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
>>
>> 9. "That's Okay"
>> This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
>> can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
>> long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for
>> whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the
>> word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go
>> Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for
>> some mighty big trouble.
>>
>> 10. "Please Do"
>> This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you
>> the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done.
>> In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble.
>> If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
>>
>> 11. "Thanks"
>> The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for
>> hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
>>
>> 12. "Thanks A Lot"
>> "Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A
>> woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off
>> at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies
>> that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to
>> ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell
>> you "Nothing."
>>
>>
>>
>> Other words and actions to keep in mind.
>>
>> No explanation necessary.
>>
>>
>>
>> 13. "Later"
>>
>> 14. Walk-away
>>
>> 15. Silent Treatment
>>
>> 16. "I'll do it myself"
>>
>> 17. "We'll talk"
>>
>> 18. "Whatever"
>>
>> 19. "Forget about it"
>>
>> 20. "Nice"
>>
>> 21. "If that's what you want"
>>
>>
>> Eric
>>
>
------------------
School is an institution built on the axiom that learning is the result of
teaching. And institutional wisdom continues to accept this axiom, despite
overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Ivan Illich.
Mary Bryson, Associate Professor, ECPS, Faculty of Education, University of
British Columbia
Research Site: http://www.shecan.com and http://www.e-capacity.ca
Digital Studio Site: http://www.digital-studio.org
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