Hi Diane,
I had a chance to think about this contradiction in xmca during a flight that only fell short of eternity by spending the night, last night, in Philadephia airport. I had brought the latest Vonnegut paperback with me, and the two converged nonlinearly in my weary brain to induce some amusing hallucinations.
>double-jeopardy piece here is that if _I_ make that call, i am a paranoid
>lesbian-radical, the bull-dyke in army boots (which is sooooooo not me,
>but i know how i am usually conjured in the minds of others, disembodied,
>lesbians are always bull-dykes, i well remember the slanderous punch)
I'd like to meet you sometime for a meal, coffee, whatever, and chat. If at aera in seattle, then perhaps other likeminded folks can join us. The directions you are pursuing with creativity are highly interesting, as are your postings, and, of course, I'd to see for myself what you actually do wear on your feet. ;-)
>...and yet, they are. when others such as judy, eva, myself, or jay, have
>been attacked, the events have been ignored. so the usual response is to
>ignore the offence and hope that it will go away. you're right. it IS
>wrong, and perhaps this time something will be done, perhaps the
>discussion can be more explicit about how harmful these kinds of attacks
>can be
As Yrjö points out over and over, systems have ways of burying contradictions. This is true with xmca, especially as several of us have worked, without apparent effect, to bring light to this "disturbance" and to enact positive change. We all suffer when one of us is permitted to be denigraded and attacked. Allowing an act of aggression, or anger perhaps, tacitly, through silence, does nothing to reduce the social acceptance of the act. The perpetrator finds no recompense, no penalty. In this way silence is near tantamount to acceptance, furthering the potential for the act to be repeated. The seeds for aggression grow together with the growing affinities between abuser, the abused, and those in witness. On this, I speak from the heart as well as the mind, and from experience acquired long before xmca.
Fleeting anger, even within the most regulated of us, will sometimes strike out at another. XMCA'ers have been very forgiving of this type of transgression. Yet what we are seeing is a pattern of anger and intolerance, and some people's voices are silenced for fear of their writing and ideas being assaulted, and even others are silenced because their sensibilities are offended by what they observe. I know Diane, from personal exchanges with other xmca'ers, that when you have protested, there were many of us who cared for you, yet who may have communicated with you in ways that may not have appeared supportive. The emergence of this disturbance appears to be trying the best in each of us, as we struggle with strategies for intervention.
Personally, I only wish to invest my time communicating with those who are reasonable.
There are also two important strategies that are not explicitly described in the change laboratory work, and I'd bet dollars to donuts they tie individual actions to systemic change. I learned them from a colleague whom I respect, and while she never named them, she applied them intuitively with the effectiveness of a crime lawyer. I call them "in your face", and "persistance". I see the maintenance of this thread in agreement with those strategies, sustaining a visible resistance.
Thoughts to sustain?
Bill Barowy, Associate Professor
Lesley University (Effective September 5, 2000)
29 Everett Street, Cambridge, MA 02138-2790
Phone: 617-349-8168 / Fax: 617-349-8169
http://www.lesley.edu/faculty/wbarowy/Barowy.html
_______________________
"One of life's quiet excitements is to stand somewhat apart from yourself
and watch yourself softly become the author of something beautiful."
[Norman Maclean in "A river runs through it."]
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