Re: grad Ss online /marginals on the list-Reply

Vanessa Gack (vgack who-is-at weber.ucsd.edu)
Mon, 20 Oct 1997 15:47:26 -0700 (PDT)

As a grad student, I don't usually reply to xmca because I am swamped. We
all have have to make decisions about how to spend our time; consider the
activity of -talking to people on xmca- a kind of luxury that I can't
usually afford. When it comes to making everyday choices I put tasks in
four categories : 1) urgent (due today); 2)immediate (due within a week)
3) coming up (due within a month); leisure (DO in the future, or not due
at all). Between work, study, writing and "life"-- I spend most of my time
on 1 and 2. When I'm "organized" I get to 3, but 4 has moved to 3,2, or
1-- before I get to it. I don't know whether this kind of priormatizing
changes after one has become a doctoral candidate, PhD, post-doc,
lecturer, assistant professor ...

I do know, though, that the tasks which fall into the urgent category have
important long term consequences-- getting a papers published, completing
coursework, qualifying, earning $$$ to stay in school. It is not that
I never get a chance to relax or play, but that after a 6-12 hour
day in front of the computer-- I have to get away from the computer. By
then, I have experienced one or more of the following: tingling arms,
back pain, sore fingers, head ache, 'monitor' eyes and poor concentration.

Often, reply to xmca messages gets postponed for the next day (that is, if
I have had time to read all the mail). By then, I have seen several pieces
of my point of view represented-- or am too busily engaged in some other
urgent task. Sometimes, I make a connection between a conversation thread
and some earlier discussion, but I rarely e-mail those connections.

Admittedly, these occasions are a form of self-marginalization-- albeit
socially constructed. I used to, however, post more frequently to this
list (and other academic lists) as an undergraduate. I received few
replies to many postings (one supportive, two responding to a query for
help, and one critical); I felt "unscathed" by the experience. Having now
invested four years in academia I now feel more intimidated. Instead of
an interpretation at stake, I now feel like I'm gambling with a career.
vanessa

p.s. As is typical for me, I now feel guilty for having procrastinated my
"real work." I also "hear" this voice that says, "who cares" and "I bet
somebody else posted a message like this (that I missed)."

****************************************
Vanessa Gack
UCSD Communication / Cognitive Science &
Laboratory of Comparative Human Cognition
<vgack who-is-at weber.ucsd.edu>
Tel.(619) 534-7487
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