Jay, I've read your first chapter and your inclusion of your own roots
and social position is indeed something very rarely found in books! When
I read it, I said to myself, "Wow, that's cool..."... but if you would
allow me to be honest, I felt at that time that there're some missing links
between your own position and what you wrote; to put it in another way... you
told us something about your history, and then you gave us your research
analyses and findings... and then the reader is left to figure out any
(or what kind of) relationship there is between the two...
I'm saying this because these 2 days, I've been trying to add a
"reflexive part" to my dissertation... on "What motivates the study"...
of course, Edouard mentioned a very sad but realistic constraint: we're
compelled to do our research, at least partly to get our God-damned Ph.D.s
and then a job and then... SIGH...
But we could have chosen another topic, say a much quicker one to finish,
and one that's more "sexy" to sell... but why chose the topic that one's
chosen... So... that has to do with one's own roots and history and
socioeconomic, socicultural position... So, Edouard, after all, there's
still room for some "ideals" here, though sadly, we have to be aware of the
practical constraints of life and our academic institutions...
And... alas... I find that to put something very personal (e.g., your own
history especially when there've been lots of failures and struggles which
have motivated your research, or which have affected the way you see
things)) into black and white on paper, and to be exposed to a (potentially
unsympathetic) public is very very SCARY... Not everyone has a record
like Jay's which he's not afraid to show to the world... (e.g., gifted
child, scholarship-winner, expertise in theoretical physics...)
So, this is the emotional, scary side of a "reflexive" approach...
Well, the same goes with writing on xmca... I'm in fact a shy
person... I surprised myself to have had the courage of writing to you
(and have written so much to you) at all... to have exposed so much of
my own struggles and feelings and thoughts... scary, isn't it...
But I guess that's a risk to take if we want to be connected to other
humans, isn't it?
Again having written too much; thanks for listening!
Best wishes,
Angel
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Angel M.Y. Lin
Doctoral Candidate
Modern Language Centre
Ontario Institute for Studies in Education
252 Bloor St. W., Toronto, ON M5S 1V6, Canada
E-Mail: MYLIN who-is-at OISE.ON.CA
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Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgment Seat;
But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth,
When ... we stand face to face in the cyber space? ...
--Adapted from: The Ballad of East and West, Rudyard Kipling
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