Warmest congratulations, Mary!! Whoa, that is a lot of excitement all at once isn't it! Whose life changed more, the baby's or yours? The attached chapter we wrote a few years ago is perhaps out of date, but it has a lot of material on smiling. Its a fantatsticaly interesting phenomenon and you, lucky duck, get to experience it right now. Best Wishes for yours and the baby's happy future. mike On Sun, Feb 27, 2011 at 6:07 AM, Mary van der Riet <vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za>wrote: > Thanks for the responses, and to Rod for the references. I particularly > enjoyed the idea that he is probably 'busy with something else more > important right now' - that sounds about right. > Mary > > > > Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal > Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209 > > email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za > tel: 033 260 6163; fax: 033 2605809 > > >>> "Denise Newnham" <dsnewnham@bluewin.ch> 02/27/11 14:10 PM >>> > HI everyone, > > Mary hi, I agree with this very interesting answer below. I had four > children and I will never forget being so excited when the second day my > little baby 'smiled' at me and when I excitedly and cooingly related > this > happy event I was told in rather a cold tone that this was a burp or > other > eliminatory type expression. Well then what does a mother do but not > smile > in return... scary. I subsequently refused all guides to child rearing > and > decided to do it the South African southern Mama style. Lots of hugs and > affection and go with the flow. > > Congratulations by the way Mary:) > > Warmest thoughts > Denise > > -----Original Message----- > From: xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu [mailto:xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu] > On > Behalf Of Rod Parker-Rees > Sent: dimanche 27 février 2011 11:55 > To: eXtended Mind, Culture, Activity > Subject: RE: [xmca] Where does the smile come from? > > Hi Mary, > > I like the idea, still found in many cultures around the world, that > babies > have two births - the physical one and then, usually around 6-8 weeks > later, > what we might call a 'psychological' birth. The physical birth is > 'premature' because of the irreconcilable difficulty of relative sizes > of > babies' heads and women's pelvises so, like kangaroos, the infant's > development has to be completed outside the womb. Parents will recognise > the > significant social transformation which comes when the baby 'arrives' > and > this is often associated with intentional smiles (in Colwyn Trevarthen's > terms this marks the beginning of primary intersubjectivity, though he > now > argues that this is present from birth). In other cultures this is seen > as > the moment when the baby's spirit finally settles in our world, having > previously been still connected to the spirit world from whence it came. > This 'arrival' is hard to pinpoint but very clear, particularly in the > kind > of eye-contact which marks a social connection. > > Watson's work on infant responses to contingency suggests that babies > smile > in recognition of contingency between their actions and the information > they > get back from the physical world. Attentive parents (and especially > mothers > who have a head - or womb- start in developing familiarity with the > baby) > offer particularly attuned contingent responses so are more likely to > elicit > responsive smiles which, in turn, serve as very powerful affective > rewards, > enabling babies to condition their parents to enjoy engaging in attuned > interactions. > > The best way to 'bring out' that magical smile is probably to let > yourself > go and just engage with your baby. I have often worried (as someone who > teaches on Early Childhood Studies programmes) whether too much > conscious > awareness of what a baby ought to be doing 'by now' might come to stand > in > the way of the relaxed, almost contemplative, 'full-on' interaction > which > babies seem to need in order to support their entry into sociocultural > communication (which is not, of course, to say that they are not > communicative before this, only perhaps more physiologically). > > The work by Fonagy, Gergely and Target, which has been discussed on this > forum in the past, presents a detailed summary of research into early > communication, affect regulation and attachment (I have just been > reading > their book - 'Affect Regulation, Mentalization and the Development of > the > Self' - first published in 2002). They suggest, following Watson (not to > be > confused with the behaviorist!) that babies begin life with a > preference > for perfect contingency (such as they find in the sensorimotor > correspondences between motor acts and perceptual effects) but 'switch' > at > about 3 months to a preference for 'high but imperfect' contingency - > such > as they find in social interactions where familiar others respond > sensitively and attunedly to their actions and affect-displays. > > Benjamin Spock's advice to mothers to 'enjoy your baby' may be intensely > irritating to some (easy for a man to say!) but I think it is still an > important message - if your baby is not smiling yet that is because > she/he > is busy doing something which for her/him is probably more important > just > for now. > > Apologies if this sounds preachy! > > All the best, > > Rod > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu [mailto:xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu] > On > Behalf Of Mary van der Riet > Sent: 27 February 2011 06:29 > To: xmca@weber.ucsd.edu > Subject: [xmca] Where does the smile come from? > > Baby books lead me to expect my newborn to deliver a smile to me in > about a > week. As a significant form of social interaction, where does this smile > 'magically' come from and why isn't it there earlier? What is going on > in > Thomas's 5 week old mind before this smile appears? What do I do to > bring it > out? > > There must be an xmca response to this! > > Mary > > > > > > Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal > Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209 > > email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za > tel: 033 260 6163; fax: 033 2605809 > > Please find our Email Disclaimer here: http://www.ukzn.ac.za/disclaimer/ > __________________________________________ > _____ > xmca mailing list > xmca@weber.ucsd.edu > http://dss.ucsd.edu/mailman/listinfo/xmca > __________________________________________ > _____ > xmca mailing list > xmca@weber.ucsd.edu > http://dss.ucsd.edu/mailman/listinfo/xmca > > __________________________________________ > _____ > xmca mailing list > xmca@weber.ucsd.edu > http://dss.ucsd.edu/mailman/listinfo/xmca > > Please find our Email Disclaimer here: http://www.ukzn.ac.za/disclaimer/ > __________________________________________ > _____ > xmca mailing list > xmca@weber.ucsd.edu > http://dss.ucsd.edu/mailman/listinfo/xmca >
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