Thanks for this Andy, sometimes it's hard to respond for fear of making
things worse, Jan
Jan Derry
www.edu.bham.ac.uk/SAT/Derry.html
>From: Andy Blunden <a.blunden@pb.unimelb.edu.au>
>Reply-To: xmca@weber.ucsd.edu
>To: xmca@weber.ucsd.edu
>Subject: Re: Re(2): Whoa.
>Date: Tue, 29 Aug 2000 11:48:05 +1100
>
>Bill, Diane,
>
>whenever an even slightly acrimonious discussion gets going on email, I
>usually go quiet; not because I'm a wimp in general, but my experience is
>that email is a medium which lends itself to uncontrolled flaming,
>particularly when there are any of us marxists involved ... unfortunately!
>
>xmca has of course distinguished itself for having survived so long with
>such an intense level of discussion without descent into either boredom or
>flame. So, who am I to say anything on this subject on *this* list?
>
>But! could I appeal to you to "let bye-gones". The *action* Paul took is
>accepted as accidental. The *thought* behind it was of course betrayed, and
>this thought was one for which various adjectives that I don't wish to
>repeat could be applied. It is these thoughts which appear to be the source
>of hurt. But in fact, it was not the thought, but the action which hurt,
>and this action was unintended.
>
>If we all said exactly what was on our mind to everyone, all the time, the
>world would descend into chaos, wouldn't it? All the more rapidly if, as
>listeners, we reacted the same way to the spoken word as we are accustomed
>to, when words are uttered with care, rather than carelessly.
>
>For my part I am delighted to be part of this list, Bill, Diane, Paul,
>Nate, Jan, whomever!
>
>Andy
>
>
>
>
>At 18:01 28/08/2000 -0400, you wrote:
> >Hi Diane,
> >
> >I had a chance to think about this contradiction in xmca during a flight
>that only fell short of eternity by spending the night, last night, in
>Philadephia airport. I had brought the latest Vonnegut paperback with me,
>and the two converged nonlinearly in my weary brain to induce some amusing
>hallucinations.
> >
> >>double-jeopardy piece here is that if _I_ make that call, i am a
>paranoid
> >>lesbian-radical, the bull-dyke in army boots (which is sooooooo not me,
> >>but i know how i am usually conjured in the minds of others,
>disembodied,
> >>lesbians are always bull-dykes, i well remember the slanderous punch)
> >
> >I'd like to meet you sometime for a meal, coffee, whatever, and chat.
>If
>at aera in seattle, then perhaps other likeminded folks can join us. The
>directions you are pursuing with creativity are highly interesting, as are
>your postings, and, of course, I'd to see for myself what you actually do
>wear on your feet. ;-)
> >
> >>...and yet, they are. when others such as judy, eva, myself, or jay,
>have
> >>been attacked, the events have been ignored. so the usual response is to
> >>ignore the offence and hope that it will go away. you're right. it IS
> >>wrong, and perhaps this time something will be done, perhaps the
> >>discussion can be more explicit about how harmful these kinds of attacks
> >>can be
> >
> >As Yrjö points out over and over, systems have ways of burying
>contradictions. This is true with xmca, especially as several of us have
>worked, without apparent effect, to bring light to this "disturbance" and
>to enact positive change. We all suffer when one of us is permitted to
>be denigraded and attacked. Allowing an act of aggression, or anger
>perhaps, tacitly, through silence, does nothing to reduce the social
>acceptance of the act. The perpetrator finds no recompense, no penalty.
>In this way silence is near tantamount to acceptance, furthering the
>potential for the act to be repeated. The seeds for aggression grow
>together with the growing affinities between abuser, the abused, and those
>in witness. On this, I speak from the heart as well as the mind, and from
>experience acquired long before xmca.
> >
> >Fleeting anger, even within the most regulated of us, will sometimes
>strike out at another. XMCA'ers have been very forgiving of this type of
>transgression. Yet what we are seeing is a pattern of anger and
>intolerance, and some people's voices are silenced for fear of their
>writing and ideas being assaulted, and even others are silenced because
>their sensibilities are offended by what they observe. I know Diane, from
>personal exchanges with other xmca'ers, that when you have protested, there
>were many of us who cared for you, yet who may have communicated with you
>in ways that may not have appeared supportive. The emergence of this
>disturbance appears to be trying the best in each of us, as we struggle
>with strategies for intervention.
> >
> >Personally, I only wish to invest my time communicating with those who
>are
>reasonable.
> >
> >There are also two important strategies that are not explicitly described
>in the change laboratory work, and I'd bet dollars to donuts they tie
>individual actions to systemic change. I learned them from a colleague
>whom I respect, and while she never named them, she applied them
>intuitively with the effectiveness of a crime lawyer. I call them "in your
>face", and "persistance". I see the maintenance of this thread in
>agreement with those strategies, sustaining a visible resistance.
> >
> >Thoughts to sustain?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Bill Barowy, Associate Professor
> >Lesley University (Effective September 5, 2000)
> >29 Everett Street, Cambridge, MA 02138-2790
> >Phone: 617-349-8168 / Fax: 617-349-8169
> >http://www.lesley.edu/faculty/wbarowy/Barowy.html
> >_______________________
> >"One of life's quiet excitements is to stand somewhat apart from yourself
> > and watch yourself softly become the author of something beautiful."
> >[Norman Maclean in "A river runs through it."]
> >
> >
>**************************************************
>* Andy Blunden, Teaching Space Consultant,
>* and Manager of Videoconferencing Operations
>* http://home.mira.net/~andy/
>* University of Melbourne 9344 0312 (W) 9380 9435 (H)
>**************************************************
>
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