It should be (changes are in capital):
"There is NO a break of etiquette in my view."
"All together, THIS OUT-OF-INTENDED-CONTEXT READING makeS the whole message
offensive."
Eugene
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Eugene Matusov [mailto:ematusov@UDel.Edu]
> Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 1998 12:51 PM
> To: XMCA
> Subject: Re: Thank you
>
>
> Hi John, Naoki, Luiz, Yrio and everybody--
>
> As a ten-year immigrant in US, I have been many times John's, Naoki's,
> Luiz's, and Yrio's shoes and here is what I've learned so far.
>
> 1) I called what happened as "a misunderstanding with adversarial
> spin-off."
> 2) There is no way to avoid them.
> 3) There is nobody's fault.
> 4) There is better way to handle it is better than it has been handle.
> 5) There is no other lesson or moral can be learned from that except this
> lesson.
>
> John asks,
> > Please, be so kind as to inform me of the etiquette I breached when I
> > remarked on the advent of (admittedly, only US) Memorial Day.
>
> There is a break of etiquette in my view. But indeed a misunderstanding
> with a potential adversarial spin-off was running through your
> posting (not
> your fault -- it was a transpersonal process and event). Let try to give
> you sense of how misunderstanding emerges.
>
> Imagine that you are getting though a public form the following
> message from
> a person unknown to you. It starts with a quote from your
> message, then it
> goes through what you may say misinterpretation of your message
> (which is OK
> with you -- not the first time), you also disagree with the points the
> message makes. By it suddenly ends with the sentence, "By the way, beware
> of white rabbits, although they are cowards, they DO run fast!"
>
> I guess you may start thinking that either the author is
> completely crazy or
> tries to offense you. The sentence has some peculiar "language
> game" (e.g.,
> beware, rabbit, cowards, DO, fast) and has moralistic, command
> psychological
> syntax (i.e., by the way, beware, although, DO).
>
> Let me show that without knowing what is Memorial Day is about in US (I've
> learned myself about Memorial Day only on third year staying in
> the US) this
> is how the ending of your message can be read, "Enjoy Memorial Day--but DO
> remember, please!".
>
> Language game: I try to construct my perception of reading John's message
> without knowing about Memorial Day. It sounds something like like that,
> "Enjoy Death, but be serious."
>
> Psychological syntax of the message: "Enjoy... but DO" In my view, this is
> syntax of command and didactic (consider a possible reply, "Who
> are you to
> tell me what and how I should do?").
>
> All together, make the whole message offensive.
>
> I understand Luis saying, "By the way, Naoki, you have nothing to
> be sorry,"
> because in my view, many people may feel to be offended in Naoki's place.
> However, I think Naoki's apology for reading John's message as offensive
> without actual author's offensive intent is very good one. It breaks the
> cycle of misunderstanding and adversary.
>
> Another issue is that XMCA is dominantly an American forum. It is carried
> on a American server, it is conducted in American English,
> American members
> are the largest group on the list, American journals dominate
> many fields of
> the participants, a lot of research money coming from US, US contexts
> dominate XMCA, and so on. However, in my observation, XMCA forum
> has become
> more diverse in many different dimensions (e.g., nationality, gender,
> field). On one hand, I think the more diverse we are, the more
> possibilities for misunderstanding. On the other hand, the more diverse we
> are, the more tolerant and skillful we are in managing emerging
> misunderstandings. A negative adversarial spin-off of
> misunderstandings is
> silence in not only participants but in bystanders. It takes time to
> recover. I think we learn to overcome it as soon as possible.
>
> What do you think?
>
> Eugene
>
> -------------
> Eugene Matusov
> Willard Hall#206G
> Department of Educational Studies
> University of Delaware
> Newark, DE 19716
> Office: 302-831-1266
> Fax: 302-831-4445
> email: ematusov who-is-at udel.edu
> website: http://www.ematusov.com
> -------------
>