[Xmca-l] Re: The genesis of gender(ed) expectations: demand, production, and reproduction (and reversibility)

[Annalisa Aguilar]

Hi Greg and Mike,


In cities everywhere, there are neighborhoods that change character based upon who moves in. I suspect it is no different for listservs.


That might be why some listservs require moderation and even a policing so that the tenets of the list stay intact. But who has time for that? And depending upon one person isn't exactly fair and it must be very very draining.


A while back I had suggested a newcomers page, but it never happened for reasons that are not clear to me. It's OK because if the idea isn't worthwhile for this list, then it's not. I accept that. Still I had been super enthusiastic about the idea so that we could welcome newcomers, but now I don't really have the time or inclination to do that at this point. Maybe someone else can run with the idea.


As I've told you in a previous post, I'm on a farm right now. There is a particular culture here and expectations. There are problems when the expectations aren't clear, even if the intention is to follow the conventions to appropriately meet the expectations.


I feel that having written instructions helps a lot. People who know the deal get tired and even fed up with repeating themselves, and then they stop letting people know, and allow newcomers the agony of reinventing wheels. Which, by the way, I don't think is very nice. That's why I'm for notes and reminders which people can read on an as-needed basis.


Otherwise people, high stakes or not, just will not post.


I would rather you didn't hush up. Maybe allow yourselves the license and expression on how you think an ally could behave on this list, figuring that you are indeed allies. I posted the Ada Initiative link for a reason, I think it's a good approach to consider what allies are and not put the onus upon those who are aggrieved.


As you, I also thought the list would be also a place to discuss ideas and papers, rapid feedback, etc., as Mike described, and sometimes it is that. But there is a sober reality that it's not that for all people, all the time. There is an exclusive feeling here, it might be worthwhile to explore how that starts, what is its genesis.


Perhaps because I don't have high stakes, I don't feel at risk to post, but maybe there will be a time I regret being freer with speaking from the heart. I hope not. My intentions are to support social justice and still retain my personhood and at the same time respect the personhood of others. Maybe I don't reach that high bar, but it is where I always start from and what I try to do. It's never quite clear to me if those intentions come through, but I'm reminded what a teacher told me once: it's not any of my business what people think about me. I interpret that to mean that people are free to think as they like, so it's ridiculous to try to influence what can't be influenced. It's also quite difficult to read minds, and it's also quite needy to require of people that they be pleased with everything I do or say. There is no more perfect place for (not) caring what others say than in academia, you would think. If you can't take the heat and criticism then it's time to be a hermit.


Maybe.


Kind regards,


Annalisa