Re: [xmca] Where does the smile come from?

[Larry Purss <lpscholar2@gmail.com>]

Hi Mary

I'm not sure what others will say but I'm asking similar questions when
interacting with my granddaughter Elena, who has me captivated.  Acting on
intuition, I, from the first day Elena was born, captured her in my gaze as
she captured me in her gaze.  This dance of gazes causes me to smile at any
movement on Elena's part and soon she starts smiling back.

Mary, one interesting process I'm experiencing now that Elena is 6 months
old is the change in response if I have not visited for a few days.  I
continue to meet her gaze directly, but the smiles are no longer
spontaneous, [as if she is checking me out.]  She is not pulling away but is
intently staring steadily before breaking out in a big smile.  This
hesitation before smiling is explained in attachment theory as the beginning
of  differentiating familiar folk from strangers.  It is a fascinating
change in her response to others and corresponds to Elena experiencing more
agitation from others who quickly try to pick her up before there has been a
proper "introduction" and collecting.

I suspect this interactional process of collecting the other as a precursor
before exchanging smiles may continue throughout later development.  At
least when I act "as if" this is true, and I wait for a smile before
"directing" or mediating others the interactional dance seems more intimate.

Larry

On Sat, Feb 26, 2011 at 10:29 PM, Mary van der Riet
<vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za>wrote:

> Baby books lead me to expect my newborn to deliver a smile to me in about a
> week. As a significant form of social interaction, where does this smile
> 'magically' come from and why isn't it there earlier? What is going on in
> Thomas's 5 week old mind before this smile appears? What do I do to bring it
> out?
>
> There must be an xmca response to this!
>
> Mary
>
>
>
>
>
> Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal
> Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209
>
> email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za
> tel: 033 260 6163;  fax: 033 2605809
>
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