RE: [xmca] Forgiveness

From: Cunningham, Donald James (cunningh@indiana.edu)
Date: Mon Oct 23 2006 - 06:26:13 PDT


Mike, on a personal level I have recently been exploring some Buddhist
perspectives on issues like this and it seems that cognitive science is
doing so also. I attach a recent article from an APS journal. I
purchased the book by Wallace cited in the bibliography and am glad I
did.

We have a substantial Tibetan presence with two (rival)
temples/monasteries (and two first class restaurants!). The Dalai Lama
is a frequent visitor to Bloomington. It has been a pleasure to find out
more about a system of belief based upon the concept of loving kindness
rather than, well, other things......djc

-----Original Message-----
From: xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu [mailto:xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu]
On Behalf Of Mike Cole
Sent: Monday, October 23, 2006 12:07 AM
To: eXtended Mind, Culture, Activity
Subject: [xmca] Forgiveness

OK-- So here is another topic. Any help out there greatly appreciated.

In my household the topic of forgiveness is a burning issue. There are a
lot
of sources.

First, we have had a visit from a friend who has had a stroke and whose
husband has left her
and she is in deep pain.

Second, we have been reading about the Amish parents in Pennsylvania who
put
aside, so far as
we can tell, the unbelievable anger and pain they must have experienced,
and
have forgiven the man
who killed their children, welcomed his wife into their community, and
(again, so far as we can tell,
for-given him his unforgivable (it would seem) trespasses.

Third, there is fiction brewing locallly that involves a mother and
daughter
who are in conflict where the
mother has transgressed the law seriously and the daughter is living
with
the consequences.

So what does anyone on this amazing list of people have to counsel us
about
forgiveness, No eye for
a tooth. What makes it possible? Legitimate? Forgivable, to forgive
someone
for causing unspeakable
pain?

This is all at the more or less personal/interpersonal level. I am well
aware that there are macro versions of these
questions that deserve all the attention we can give them, but up close
and
personal. --When is forgiveness possible
and forgivable?

Help please
mike
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