My child's kindergarten spends a lot of time and energy on two coping
strategies:
"Use your words" is the admonition and "I don't like that; stop it." and
phrases like that are the suggested responses.
The other day I was tickling Sarah and at the point of over-tickle she
said, "Mom, you're not listening to my words. Stop it."
Much better response than pulling hair, whining, or suffering.
Btw, we've had talks about where it's okay to touch people, if you get my
drift.
:-)
Linda P.
>Bonnie,
>
>Why I understand the concern with generalizations -hugging, pats on the
>head, and other practices are becoming suspect more and more. At the center
>my children used to attend they had two male teachers and on average they
>were shadowed about 4 times a year by city certification because of
>complaints they hugged a child or were holding their hand. NAEYC has put
>out several articles on this very issue. I have seen this also occur in
>schools in regards to sexual orientation in which a simple hug has become
>suspect. As a method of worker protection some districts/unions have it in
>their policy of banning hugging and other forms of affection. I know when
>I did my student teaching their was a page of guidelines in relation to
>this very issue, such as leave your classroom door open etc.
>
>In our SOE there was a student organization that argued for a "touch free
>curriculum" which was motivated by concerns of physical abuse, sexual
>abuse, and sexual harassment. I suspect a side affect of the recent
>Supreme Court ruleing, which I see as a step in the direction of making
>schools safer places, is no touching rules will begin to be applied to
>students as a way for districts to protect themselves from law suits.
>
>Nate
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: Bonnie Nardi <nardi who-is-at research.att.com>
>To: <xmca who-is-at weber.ucsd.edu>
>Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 1999 11:51 AM
>Subject: hugging lives!
>
>
>> This discussion about the schools has been extremely interesting, but
>> sometimes features blanket generalizations about public schools that are
>> completely different than what I have observed.
>>
>> A taboo on touching students? My daughter's first grade teacher touches
>> every student on the head or shoulder as they enter class every day. My
>high
>> school senior recently attended two school awards ceremonies where the
>> hugging and kissing between teachers and students looked positively
>> Hollywood. The touching included everyone from the principal, a seasoned
>> veteran, to the newest, youngest faculty. When students were called up to
>> the podium to get their awards, they often flung their arm around their
>> guidance counselor, who was giving the award (very funny in the case of
>the
>> tall students looming over the shorter counselors). The shyer students
>were
>> tucked under the wing of the counselor as he or she explained the
>students'
>> accomplishments. As far as I could tell, everyone was very happy and the
>> touching was a natural expression of joy.
>>
>> I have also seen lots of hugging in the schools where I have done
>research.
>>
>> Echoing a point Ken Goodman has been making, I think many on this list
>might
>> be surprised at what happens within the hallowed halls...
>>
>> -------
>>
>> Bonnie Nardi
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Bonnie A. Nardi
>> Research Scientist
>> AT&T Labs West
>> 75 Willow Road
>> Menlo Park, CA 94025
>> (650) 463-7064
>> nardi who-is-at research.att.com
>> fax:(650) 327-3796
>> www.best.com/~nardi/default.html
>>