Re: Consistency (formerly sexuality/intimacy)

diane celia hodges (dchodges who-is-at interchg.ubc.ca)
Sat, 7 Mar 1998 09:52:51 -0800

At 12:49 AM 3/7/98, Judy Diamondstone wrote:
>Just musing a bit when I should be doing otherwise.
>I took the term "consistency" from G. Bateson's discussion
>of the double bind in schizophrenogenic families: To
>respond to contradictions in the referential/actional messages
>of a caregiver, the child is pushed towards madness/creativity/satori
>in order to realize consistency of a different order in relationship.
>

Judy - the incident you describe, in the hallway with the child,
and the synchronous relation which took place - reminds me of those times

when I've "connected" with children I've worked with over the years,

but also adults - strangers, even, on the bus; and there is
a moment when you share a sudden laugh, perhaps, and something "signals",

something indeed "feels" - it brings to mind what i was muttering and musing on,
with regards to desire, excess, the inexpressible-self which manifests
unconsciously...

those moments when we connect, that synchonous - relation, and that
"feeling" of the difference, is possibly a "feeling" of a kind of
fulfillment, ...

since the desire to "be"
is a desire which essentially "needs" an other,

these connections may be instances of fulfillng that unconscious need to
"be" with/as//to know the other...? am I making sense here?

I am also reminded of when these don't happen.
I was standing at a bus stop, and there was a massive white Cadillac
parked at the curb; blood red interior; and I swear, the license plate read
"666" -

I turned to the other woman standing beside me and said, :Look. It's the
devil's car." And I smiled. Perhaps I seemed maniacal. Perhaps she didn't
know if I was joking. Perhaps she thought the next thing I'd say is "Oh and
look there's Jesus coming out of the pizzeria!"... in any event, she shot
me one terrified glance and walked away. So much for connecting. Ha ha. Win
some, lose some.

>
>This is the incident that comes to my mind when the topic of
>synchronicity comes up. At that time, the rhythmic expression of
>the child's affect invited attention. I'm not usually aware of
>synchronicity in my interaction with another, except in the breech,
>I suppose.
>

I wonder if that moment with the devil's car constitutes a breech?
children are easy to connect with, if the "other" is willing: adults, on
the other hand, what a complex organism we become.

huh. thanks for poking my thoughts Judy.
diane

"Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right." Ani Difranco
*********************************************
diane celia hodges
faculty of education, centre for the study of curriculum and
instruction,
university of british columbia
vancouver, bc canada

snailmail: 3519 Hull Street
Vancouver, BC, Canada V5N 4R8