Consistency (formerly sexuality/intimacy)

Judy Diamondstone (diamonju who-is-at rci.rutgers.edu)
7 Mar 1998 00:49:43 -0000

Just musing a bit when I should be doing otherwise.
I took the term "consistency" from G. Bateson's discussion
of the double bind in schizophrenogenic families: To
respond to contradictions in the referential/actional messages
of a caregiver, the child is pushed towards madness/creativity/satori
in order to realize consistency of a different order in relationship.

The term took on more meaning for me in the incident that I have
anecdotalized :) in my musings and type out here.
I was still in college (way long ago), at a local history
museum. I entered behind a group of children, "special" in
the sense of special ed., who were ushered by a couple
of adults, one of whom responded angrily to the
angry crying/yelling of one of the children. The adult
showed the child to the door, sternly (I remember
censoriously) telling him to wait outside. Since anger was
a feeling I could understand, I tailed the child. He was sitting
on the cement siding of the stairwell to the door, angrily,
rhythmically crying/yelling. He didn't respond to my greeting,
so I watched him for a while, then slowly approached & sat
beside him, just looking out in the same direction he was looking
and listening to him. And then, since he was crying rhythmically,
I began chanting softly, in sync with his crying,
"one, two, buckle-your-shoe; three, four, shut-the-door, etc."
And sure enough, he began crying more softly, and more softly.
Then, worried that he would get bored (in retrospect, it was
stupid of me), I started counting backwards (from nine, ten,
mother-hen), which precipitated loud, angry crying again on the
child's part. And then the adult came outside, disapprovingly,
and ushered the child back in.

This is the incident that comes to my mind when the topic of
synchronicity comes up. At that time, the rhythmic expression of
the child's affect invited attention. I'm not usually aware of
synchronicity in my interaction with another, except in the breech,
I suppose.

back to business,
Judy

Judith Diamondstone (732) 932-7496 Ext. 352
Graduate School of Education
Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey
10 Seminary Place
New Brunswick, NJ 08901-1183