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[Xmca-l] Re: NEW YORKER: Fact-Resistant Humans (discovered, yes, at the University of Minnesota = GO GOPHERS!)



Alarming!

On Friday, May 22, 2015, Frank Kessel <kesfam@pdq.net> wrote:

> [image: Borowitz Report] <http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report>BOROWITZ
> REPORT <http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report>
> MAY 12, 2015Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant
> HumansBY ANDY BOROWITZ
> <http://www.newyorker.com/contributors/andy-borowitz>
>
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>    - [image: Email]
>    <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','?subject%5Cx3dFrom+newyorker.com:+%5Cx26body%5Cx3dMINNEAPOLIS+(The+Borowitz+Report)+%5Cu2013+Scientists+have+discovered+a+powerful+new+strain+of+fact-resistant+humans+who+are+threatening+the+ability+of+Earth+to+sustain+life,+a+sobering+new+study+reports.The+research,+conducted+by+the+University+of+Minnesota,+identifies+a+virulent+strain+of+humans+who+are+virtually+immune+to...%5Cn%5CnFrom+newyorker.com:+http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans');>
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>    - [image: Print]
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> <http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Borowitz-Earth-Endangered-by-Fact-Resistant-Humans-1200.jpg>
> CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY NASA EO/REX/FEATURES VIA AP
>
> MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report
> <http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report>) –
> *READ BELOW*
>
>
>
>
>  Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of
>
> fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain
> life, a sobering new study reports.
>
> The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a
> virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of
> verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.
>
> “These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and
> process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed
> to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that,
> for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally
> inactive.”
>
> More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses
> against those facts have only grown more powerful.”
>
> While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that
> prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that
> the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard
> information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal
> functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon
> said.
>
> While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out
> hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the
> future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will
> become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without
> food, water, or oxygen,” he said.
>


-- 

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