Thanks for your support1
Eugene
> Hi all,
> Eugene's words put a light on this misunderstanding. The explanation is
> very clear and now, as a foreign member, I could understand what was
> happening. thanks, maria judith
> Eugene Matusov wrote:
> >
> > Hi John, Naoki, Luiz, Yrio and everybody--
> >
> > As a ten-year immigrant in US, I have been many times John's, Naoki's,
> > Luiz's, and Yrio's shoes and here is what I've learned so far.
> >
> > 1) I called what happened as "a misunderstanding with
> adversarial spin-off."
> > 2) There is no way to avoid them.
> > 3) There is nobody's fault.
> > 4) There is better way to handle it is better than it has been handle.
> > 5) There is no other lesson or moral can be learned from that
> except this
> > lesson.
> >
> > John asks,
> > > Please, be so kind as to inform me of the etiquette I breached when I
> > > remarked on the advent of (admittedly, only US) Memorial Day.
> >
> > There is a break of etiquette in my view. But indeed a misunderstanding
> > with a potential adversarial spin-off was running through your
> posting (not
> > your fault -- it was a transpersonal process and event). Let
> try to give
> > you sense of how misunderstanding emerges.
> >
> > Imagine that you are getting though a public form the following
> message from
> > a person unknown to you. It starts with a quote from your
> message, then it
> > goes through what you may say misinterpretation of your message
> (which is OK
> > with you -- not the first time), you also disagree with the points the
> > message makes. By it suddenly ends with the sentence, "By the
> way, beware
> > of white rabbits, although they are cowards, they DO run fast!"
> >
> > I guess you may start thinking that either the author is
> completely crazy or
> > tries to offense you. The sentence has some peculiar "language
> game" (e.g.,
> > beware, rabbit, cowards, DO, fast) and has moralistic, command
> psychological
> > syntax (i.e., by the way, beware, although, DO).
> >
> > Let me show that without knowing what is Memorial Day is about
> in US (I've
> > learned myself about Memorial Day only on third year staying in
> the US) this
> > is how the ending of your message can be read, "Enjoy Memorial
> Day--but DO
> > remember, please!".
> >
> > Language game: I try to construct my perception of reading
> John's message
> > without knowing about Memorial Day. It sounds something like like that,
> > "Enjoy Death, but be serious."
> >
> > Psychological syntax of the message: "Enjoy... but DO" In my
> view, this is
> > syntax of command and didactic (consider a possible reply,
> "Who are you to
> > tell me what and how I should do?").
> >
> > All together, make the whole message offensive.
> >
> > I understand Luis saying, "By the way, Naoki, you have nothing
> to be sorry,"
> > because in my view, many people may feel to be offended in
> Naoki's place.
> > However, I think Naoki's apology for reading John's message as offensive
> > without actual author's offensive intent is very good one. It
> breaks the
> > cycle of misunderstanding and adversary.
> >
> > Another issue is that XMCA is dominantly an American forum. It
> is carried
> > on a American server, it is conducted in American English,
> American members
> > are the largest group on the list, American journals dominate
> many fields of
> > the participants, a lot of research money coming from US, US contexts
> > dominate XMCA, and so on. However, in my observation, XMCA
> forum has become
> > more diverse in many different dimensions (e.g., nationality, gender,
> > field). On one hand, I think the more diverse we are, the more
> > possibilities for misunderstanding. On the other hand, the more
> diverse we
> > are, the more tolerant and skillful we are in managing emerging
> > misunderstandings. A negative adversarial spin-off of
> misunderstandings is
> > silence in not only participants but in bystanders. It takes time to
> > recover. I think we learn to overcome it as soon as possible.
> >
> > What do you think?
> >
> > Eugene
> >
> > -------------
> > Eugene Matusov
> > Willard Hall#206G
> > Department of Educational Studies
> > University of Delaware
> > Newark, DE 19716
> > Office: 302-831-1266
> > Fax: 302-831-4445
> > email: ematusov who-is-at udel.edu
> > website: http://www.ematusov.com
> > -------------
>